Friday, July 13, 2007

partly sunny with a chance of beer....

You know that Seinfeld episode where George equates sitting in his boxers and eating a block of cheese as big as his head with the pinnacle of single life? Yeah, um, apparently I'm now Costanza. I woke up this morning on my couch to the old Star Trek theme music blasting from the television and saw a block of cheese on the end table. Fuck me. I believe my internal monologue went something like this: Jesus. Christ. It's. 5. a. m. I. Have. To. gotoworknow! Ah, Shatner, you acting genius.

Yesterday, you see, was one of those days where the evening was just perfect...not too hot, breezy, and Thursday. I was sitting on the porch having a beverage or 12 text messaging with my long distance friend and lost track of time. The next thing I knew it was 10:00 and I was looking for something to have for dinner. Well, in my fridge right now there are condiments and beer and a bottle of wine. Oh, and obviously, a block of cheese. I gotta go to the store tonight.

Earlier in the evening, the ex stopped by to "pick something up" which oddly she neglected to take with her. Instead, I was subjected to an hour or so of inane ramblings about Things I Could Give a Shit About. Looking back, this probably led to me being stuck drunk and without dinner. But, I digress. I'm all about being friends, being nice, being whatever...but I don't want to hang out. Really. Sometimes I wish it were all business and she hated me. I wonder if it wouldn't be easier....well, at least for me. And that's all we're really concerned with anyway.

In conclusion, I'm now George Costanza. Let My Summer commence!


onthevirg said...

See that's where you're just supposed to lay into her w/ all your stored up anger and make her leave crying.

Or just tell her you're tired and to get the hell out. And you're still friends w/ your ex? Weird.

onthevirg said...

Almost forgot. Here's your pic of gigantor titty'd Selma.

Ha Ha Sound said...

Sounds like you ex is looking for drama, ex sex or to get back together. Either way, size up the situation and if it isn't falling in your favor then move on.

BTW, the letters I had to type in to comment were "jyrki". Jerky. I thought that was funny. =+)

natural muze said...

this is funny. if i can recall, my single life was very different. lol.

Jen said...

"Things I Could Give a Shit About".
AWESOME. I've gotten drunk and attempted to make instant mashed potatoes for dinner. The next morning it looked like it had snowed in my kitchen. Good times!