Monday, April 28, 2008

that's how I roll.......

I went. I fished. I drank. I coughed. I drank some more. I fished. I coughed. I ate wonderful breakfasts. I saw things I'd never seen before. I forgot my camera. Dammit.
This is a picture I snagged from Google of where we spent Friday and Saturday fishing. You just drive out on the beach and park. And drink. And you have the best part of the place to yourself. It's totally unreal. The lighthouse doesn't sit on the shore anymore. They moved it about a mile or so back a few years ago because the beach was eroding. Yeah. Moved it. The whole lighthouse. At one time. Well, over the course of a long time, but still.....That's damn impressive. Anyway, I have never had the beach pretty much to myself ever. It was amazing.

The first day I found PERFECT shells. The conch shells that you only ever find pieces of. And there were no fish. But, there were lots of beers.
The second day there were no shells ( a different part of the beach) but there were lots of fish. Well, a bunch of sand sharks and one for real, honest to god, shark. I don't know what kind it was, but it was about 3.5-4 feet long with real, pointy shark teeth. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. Pictures? No, apparently the convenience stores in NC don't believe in disposable cameras either. Oh well, hopefully this fall we'll see some more because you can bet I'm taking my camera then!!!!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

It had to be this week, didn't it?

I'm supposed to be leaving for the beach for the weekend today at 3:30. That would put us at Hooters having pitchers of beer and dinner and almost there by 7ish. It's supposed to be 70 degrees or more there all weekend. The house is free. The beer may or may not be on ice right now. The problem? I'm sick. And so is my friend that's going along. And, we have been. All. Week. I mean, all week...really? Who in the hell has a fever for 4 days? I'm going back and forth today between feeling like chugging 3 or 4 pitchers and curling up under my desk and dying...or passing out...and not in that good way that I would probably be feeling later this weekend. We've been planning this and looking forward to it since January. I LOVE the beach. I don't, however, think I would love feeling like I did this morning when I woke up and being 5 hours away from home. On someone else's couch. I don't know. It irritates me because I'll bust my ass to get to work regardless of how I feel, but I'm actually considering passing on this trip because I feel like hell and all I want to do is lay around. Does that make sense? I mean, am I nuts? I should go anyway and hope that I'll get better. Otherwise, I know that I'll start to feel better tomorrow afternoon anyway and it'll be too late to go........Of course, if I didn't get better while I was there, it would be a cheap trip. Damn being sick.......

Monday, April 14, 2008

I'm bored...humour me.

I have flowers growing in my back yard. I first thought they were weeds, albeit pretty purple ones, but weeds nonetheless. There are a lot of them and they were left when the mower came the other day. Saturday, I picked one to smell it because the bees are very fond of them. They’re hyacinths (I think that’s what they’re called, anyway) and smell lovely. But, because they don’t get the morning sun, they’re barely blooming. I wish I could bolster them, but hopefully this means that they’ll last a lot longer than the ones in my neighbor’s yard that are fully blossomed.

I also have one lone tulip that opened to the day Saturday. A striking red, it is. I thought it might be a daffodil last month.

My gardening knowledge knows no bounds, apparently.

Sometimes I go to the bar in the evenings when I have nothing to do. I usually go by myself as my friend(s) usually have other Normal Things to occupy their weeknights with. I sit in mostly the same spot and am generally recognized, but rarely talk to anyone there. Sometimes idle chat ensues, and sometimes I carry it on. Sometimes I sit and listen and talk to the people that no one else will listen to either out of fear of asking for money or a latching onto that sometimes occurs with regular folk like that. I don’t care. I think everyone deserves to be listened to once in awhile. Hopefully one day, someone will listen to me when I’m old and sitting there (probably on the same stool) and haven’t spoken a thought out loud within earshot of another person in weeks.

I sit at work and look at awards and certificates and other random paperwork and wonder where the last 8 years of my life have gotten to. Would the Me that started this job in 2000 recognize the Me that’s sitting here now? What happened to the Dream I was chasing when I started? A house, a family, a less stressful career, etc., etc. Somewhere in between starting to care too much about work and not enough about Important Things and alleviating boredom at work and at home, I lost sight of a lot of things. I suppose that happens to most people, though, and takes a lot of conscious effort everyday to not do so. Apparently, though, no one around me learns by example, only by doing…much to my dismay and theirs, eventually I’m sure.

I want another tattoo. I don’t need any more. But, I want 3 more smallish ones. Now. I wish I knew what was going to happen with the economy and gas prices and all that bullshit. I mean, I know what I think is going to happen which should make me want to horde my money. It, however, does not. It pisses me off and makes me want to buck the system. I’m no longer the rebel that I once was. I am, though, still paying for that rebel’s dumbass expenditures.

People, I have noticed lately, say less disparaging things to/about me (at least that I can hear). This is a good thing. But, I’m not sure why at the same time. I have it narrowed down to 3 things I think.
1. They figure that I don’t care and am not going to listen anyway.
2. They fear that I’m going to go batshit crazy at any moment and they don’t want to be the one to push me over the edge.
3. Maybe, just maybe, I’m on the right track and it’s obvious for once.

Spring brings out the wanderer in me, but not as much as fall. Spring makes me want to seek out new places to live and new things to do. I’m too chicken to go anywhere or do anything different though. I guess I always have been to some degree. I feel like I’m under The Man’s thumb and am not quite sure how to break that mode of thinking.

In 1992, I had one of the best spring seasons that I can remember. Everything just seemed to click. And, riding that euphoria into the summer, I promptly screwed up big time. There’s a pattern here. Trust me.

I’m glad I went to college and remember the best part of it fondly. Sometimes I feel like I should push myself to use it more.

I’m incredibly bored at work. Can you tell?

Don't forget to go buy this.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Just another day at the office

I recently introduced my co-worker and friend to g-chat. Following is an excerpt of this morning's conversation.

me: jesus...the turtle's got her spring outfit on today.i'm going to puke
Sent at 8:28 AM on Thursday

coworker: nooooooooooooo

me: oh yes. wait til she comes out's making me rethink this whole "skirt season" thing.

coworker: do really have comcast cause its so much faster??!!

me: who wants some more pot roast?

coworker: you push it....push it real good

me: if she were to back that thing up, it'd need a beeper.

coworker: ok im coming to check it out

me: baha ok

coworker: it looks like bread rising around a piece of twine

me: i'm so not eating lunch now, fucker.

oh, and don't forget to buy this book

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


My calendar tells me that it's April 1. It also says that Spring started on March 20. There have been a few warm days that, like me, want to believe this written word. The flowers that are struggling through the rain and wind and cold nights are believing it too. Maybe I should believe like they do and instinctively know that it's time to push my head up and bloom, regardless of what's going on around me.

Hey, don't forget to go HERE and buy this book.......