hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ

I've found my calling in life. Well, if not my calling, at least a part-time vocation. I want to be a DJ. Not one of those people that run down the preprogrammed playlist and read the weather and news and pre-record their shows at 8 am to air that night at midnight. I want to be the late night guy, the evening guy, the guy that's there while some poor stiff is working the midnight shift. I want to be THERE. That way, should someone be bored or lonely, a friendly voice with his/her favourite song is only a phone call and an airwave away. Plus, I'd be great at it because there'd be none of the crap music playing that oozes out of the radio stations here. No buzzkiller music. I mean seriously, don't they know that people are sitting around drinking beer and cooking out in the evenings? How can you follow a good time, good vibe song with something utterly sappy, romantic, and/or suicidally depressing? Buzz. Killers. I would keep the upbeat mood going all the time. Or, perhaps, we could have theme nights...and if you didn't want to tune in on "I hate my life night" then you wouldn't have to. But, it surely wouldn't be sprung on you unawares in the middle of a good joke and a cold beer. I was on my way in this morning listening to "Don't You Forget About Me" and holding my fist in the air because, yeah, that's what you do when you hear that song and planning my day and my evening and my weekend and generally feeling good because it's Friday when all of a sudden Jewel came on. She's ok, but she has a time and a place. 5 am isn't it. I don't need to hear about broken hearts and misery and sappy love and how everything's gonna be ok in some magical place we'll call "the Future" and blah blah blah because shit, man, I'm on the way to work and I want, nay NEED, to feel good today. Turn that shit off. And in the same breath, what's up with John Tesh? I wish he'd crawl back under his Entertainment Tonight washed-up ass rock and quit trying to make me gay and afraid to go outside for fear of germs or offending someone or some other ungodly terror that lurks outside my door. Jesus.

I'd even do the DJ job for free. Well, not for free. They'd have to get me a cold 12 pack of beer....and then, the game would be on. Tune in, turn on, and drop out!