Friday, August 31, 2007

My Nemesis

Batman had the Joker. Superman had Lex Luthor (I almost typed Lex Luger, the wrestler...I promise I'm not a dork). Spiderman had the Green Goblin. Jerry Seinfeld and Newman. Ross (Friends) had the whole pretending he's not gay thing. Well, friends, I've finally found my nemesis. Don't let the fact that he's a 70-something (or older) fat old man with a cane who can barely talk above a raspy whisper. He's a crafty bastard. You see, since I moved I've been going to auctions with my dad and buying things for the apartment. One man's junk is another man's treasure they say. But, seriously, you can find some cool shit there. Some of it could be antique, but mostly it's just old quirky stuff that no one wants anymore. Eh, either way. I'm kind of like quirky old junk myself. Almost classy, but mostly just odd and maybe a little cool. Ok, I'm a lot cool, but I don't want to brag. Anyway....for the past 2 weeks there have been a couple of things I was hunting for. Last week was a coffee table, which was subsequently damaged on Saturday, and this week was either another table, a bookshelf, and/or a fireplace tool set. Lo and Behold!! There was a fireplace set there. Rock on! All night, things had been selling for a buck, $2.50, $5...etc. There were some very expensive things there, but since I don't care about age or resale value, I buy the cheap stuff. Enter the nemesis. These cheap things are the things he buys too. The kicker is that the old bastard has a used furniture store in town that's so crammed full of this shit that you can barely find your way through it. If there was a fire in there, you'd burn to death before you could even turn around and head for the door. And, he's a millionaire. So, when I'm scraping pennies together to bid $5 for something and this ass runs my bid to $10 or $12, I get a little miffed. You see, I budget my money. He's wearing a shirt from 1970. And not in a cool Kramer way. This is when I know I'm my father's son. I get feisty. I don't want to pay too much for something, but I don't want to let him walk out with it either, so I keep bidding. I've watched him for a few weeks now and I know his limit...and it's right around mine, so I have to be careful...but I push him as far as he'll go because, well, it's damn worth it! I think next week I'm going to make up a super-villain name for him and start calling him that....

I did manage 2 metal chairs for my porch, a fireplace kit, 6 board games that are brand new (ok, maybe I am a dork), and my very own backgammon game in its own vintage briefcase. ha! Take that Junk Man!

6 comments:

lioux said...

Oooh. I was gonna suggest his super-villian name be The Outbidder, but I like Junk Man sooo much better.

Lucy said...

"Country Roads v. The Junk Man!"

"Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!"

Now I'd pay to see that!

Mortarbored said...

My vote goes for the simple: "Asshat."

And I raise my eyebrows when I see you talking about budgeting your money and buying board games in the same post. Just sayin'...

country roads said...

well, budgeting means not buying expensive things like a new mattress and going out to eat all the time. The auctions generally cost about $10 if that for everything :-)

MsPuddin said...

aww I like the idea of your dad being your sidekick. Cute. Ok enough with the mushy stuff. I shop at Target, thats my cheap spot. Gotta love it!

MsP

Mortarbored said...

Shoot me your blogger email address.