Monday, August 20, 2007

Give my stomach to Milwaukee if they run out of beer

"but please don't bury me down in that cold, cold ground"

I went to see John Prine Saturday night and learned a few things.

  1. There are some really cool and wild older people out there.
  2. Loafers should not be worn with shorts.
  3. Just because you remember John Prine and enjoy his music doesn't make you less of a douche when you're talking about work while I'm trying to listen to the show. I didn't pay to hear your fucking mouth, asshole.
  4. Old guys are impressed when a young punk like me knows all the words to all the songs.
  5. I saw Amish Hipsters. Well, they weren't technically Amish because they were drunk as all hell and covered in tattoos, but they had the Amish clothes thing rockin'. And were incredibly funny.
  6. I'm in love with the downtown area of the city the show was in. In. Love.
  7. That being said, I will never go into the overly trendy bar that I stopped in for a few preshow beers and a snack ever again. Their appetizer? Bread with olive oil for dipping. I liked it, don't get me wrong. I'm not a caveman. But, something fried would've been a whole hell of a lot better.
  8. Going to concerts and drinking beers by yourself is fun. The drive home...not so much. I get very sleepy with no one to talk to.

I left early Friday because I had a couple errands to run and nothing to do here, so I thought to myself "Self, let's get the hell outta here." Self, of course, was out the door before I could clock out. He's not much in the restraint area. No motivation, no willpower, just a huge urge to do fun things. I think that's why we get along so well. Anyway, so I go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond because I want some stuff for the house and I need a good spatula. It's insane how much I love that store. Also insane are the prices there. Then, off to Walmart where I, much to my surprise and Self's glee, the college girls have come back to town. I'm going to sound like a pig here, but I don't care. You see, where I live there is an incredible shortage of anything that's pleasing to the eye. If I was talking about paintings, living here would be like living in a Home Interior catalog. There are a couple nice things, but mostly not so much. But, all that changes at the end of August. And, to the man that invented the short plaid shorts and gray tshirt look....Thank. You.

So, being distracted in Walmart, Self could only manage to pick up a couple cases of beer and the bare essentials. At this point, time was ticking and I had to get home to meet a friend. Fast forward to hungover Saturday morning when I really wished that I would've gotten a couple more things Friday evening so I didn't have to go back out. Saturday's trip cost me a pile of money as I broke down and bought 40" of Liquid Crystal Display (or whatever it stands for) glory. I'll probably regret spending that much money, but hungover Self will not be denied things that make him feel good. And, High Plains Drifter did look damn good on it Saturday afternoon.....

The moral of the story: Don't shop when hungover with someone that has no willpower....


Mortarbored said...

I have my credit card number, expiration date, and security code all memorized. All I need is an internet connection and I'm screwed. Hungover or sober.

Ha Ha Sound said...

I don't know John Prine. I'll have a listen, though. Any songs of his in particular that you'd recommend?

onthevirg said...

Immediately order whatever HD channels you can get for your new fangled idiot box. You will not regret it.