Tuesday, February 19, 2008

no more yanky my wanky, Donger needs food

Sixteen Candles was on last night. Yes, I watched it. Most of it with the sound down because I was listening to an awesome cd that I can't remember the title of right now. Yes, it was that good. But, I digress. I'm a sucker for the 80s movies and know most of them by heart. I don't know why really. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that the actors were almost the same age as I was at the time, and I lived in a podunk town with little to no adventures and these kids were having parties and bonding in detention and stealing panties and having romantic interludes as only adolescents can. It was like a public journal of awkwardness and it was nice not to feel alone. Movies these days don't do that. They promote the good looking, cool kids who are just the right weight with the perfect hair and perfect skin. And, while I think overall that the kids today are better looking than they were 20 years ago, that's still not fair to all the kids who aren't exceptionally beautiful and/or rich and/or talented and/or whatever farce Hollywood is promoting in its latest "effort." Life's normal and plain and boring 90% of the time. Especially when you're living at home and have a curfew and chores. It's supposed to be. It prepares you for life on your own...you know when you have bills and no money and chores. If you have a crapton of excitement as a kid, you're going to be really, really disappointed when you get older and find out that working in a cube staring at a monitor and the words of other people is about as exciting as your day's going to get. Wouldn't it be more awesome if you spent your time as a teenager getting ready for the Big Day when you could break out on your own and do something important? And by do something important I mean buy beer and make grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. I'm just saying that the movies are building these kids up to think that the world's a dynamic place where all the hot girls swoon whenever you walk by and your hair is always perfect and everyone can dance/rap/paint/whatever. And, yes, people can do those things. But, it takes a lot of work and practice and hair gel. That's something that most flicks leave out. That's something that most kids don't want to do anyway. The best thing for these trouble-making kids is an afterschool job. That'll crush their dreams earlier and save them from the bitter twenty-something disillusionment that will befall them as surely as I'll have beer and grilled cheese for dinner tonight.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree with you more. Somebody needs to wake this kids up to the fact that life's a bitch then you die. It seems cliche but its truth.

Ha Ha Sound said...

Sixteen Candles rules. But my favorite '80s teen movies are definitely Weird Science and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Those are classics.

Nina said...

I should not say too much about this because I teach first year college students. So I won't. Except it would be great if somewhere in the teacher's code it said it was ok to tell them the truth. Dammit.

123Valerie said...

Dude! I was watching that on the same day, too--yeah, I've been SUPER busy.

Missed you, J! Sorry I've had my head up my ass.

Frankly, Scarlett said...

Awwww - i miss the days where holding hands was a HUGE deal and your biggest worry was that no one would dance with you at the winter formal.

sigh.

country roads said...

@ scarlett ~

me too.

Anonymous said...

Now I'm going to have to go rent that movie again. Thanks - another 2 hours of my life gone :)

Nicole said...

"But, it takes a lot of work and practice and hair gel. That's something that most flicks leave out."

I actually think that's why the montage was invented. :)

I LOVE this movie!

Nina said...

Hi. I tagged you today. Come on over if you want to do an easy (silly) Book Meme.