Wednesday, October 10, 2007

There comes a time...

I think there comes a time in everyone's life when you have to ask yourself certain questions. They can range from the ultimately serious What in the hell am I doing with my life? to the trivial, but still very vital, What in the hell am I going to have for dinner? There are about a million other things that you can ask yourself about, beat yourself up over, and agonize on for days, weeks, months, years on end. But, I'll leave you to fill in your own list. I don't know if there's such a thing as redemption or, rather, a karmic scrubbing off of past deeds by newer, more improved deeds, but I'm willing to give it a try. That push to be a better person to everyone. Well, not everyone. Some people are just assholes and need to be kicked in the nuts. Eh, you get the idea.

I had a good time over the weekend at my buddy's party. We stayed up entirely too late both nights and drank entirely too much. Well, he and his wife didn't. They're actually responsible parents. The rest of us...not so much. In fact, my response to their questioning of my bringing drinking games back into our lives was Hey, I've tried the responsible route for 12 years or more. I'm now regressing into youth. Oh yeah? How's that working for you? Very well, actually. Can't you tell? Now roll the damn dice, it's your turn.

I watched them with their kids and my newly married bff and his wife and the ride home was long because I was alone and knew I was going home alone, but strangely satisfying at the same time. Satisfying I think because while they all live good lives, I want something else (what that is, I don't know exactly) but I'm pretty sure that that's not the path that it's on. I don't know. That's just it; I don't know. Does anyone really? Or do we all just bounce and roll around and put ourselves out there and pull ourselves back and do whatever the situation at hand calls for? Or do we pick a course and steadily sail it, no matter how rough the water? I don't know. But, maybe the mystery IS the fun part.


TK said...

I think everyone tries to do it differently, but even the people who have a map and a plan end up at a fork in the road every now and then.

OK, enough fucking metaphor.

Life works itself out. Just make smart decisions, and it should be fine.

Sounds like a good weekend.

MsPuddin said...

Yes sometimes I ask myself if I’m ever going to get laid again? Or maybe I shouldn’t have had that extra cheese?

You’ll find what you are looking for. White picket fence + 2.5 five kids + white collar job = boring and predictable. I need spontaneity…