Yeah, yeah..it's been awhile. Forgive me, but I'm damn boring and nothing has really been happening. Let's recap shall we?
I used to live in crappy house/apt. in a crappy part of a crappy town. Tired of freezing to death and listening to Fiestas every Sunday afternoon, I broke my lease and moved. I bought a house in an altogether different town 30 miles away and am now ensconced in warmth and quiet. Two of my favourite things! Most of the time. One can only, however, sit at the kitchen table and watch the evening news while drinking wine so many nights in a row before one goes batshit crazy. The time table on this is usually about 3 days. I've been doing it for 2 months. Hey, it was exactly 2 months yesterday! Go me! Anyway, I've come to find that if you watch the local news while drinking said wine, you will become belligerent and want to kill the newscasters and weather people and stupid people they interview. Well, maybe not kill, but at least choke heartily. Or, you may want to kill yourself. Eh, either way, it takes its toll on you. I suppose all local news is a little hinky, but, jaysus, sometimes I feel dumber after watching it.
Anyway, finally I've gotten to the point where I almost have a budget and my new town is kinda cool, so I thought I would venture out to visit my new favourite bar. I know. I was shocked too. I stopped after work and got a haircut because I'm too lazy to keep up a schedule with that and desperately needed one and came home and took a shower (I can't stand the little hairs all over me) and contemplated my moves for the evening. That lasted about 5 mins til I bolted out the door like my ass was on fire and my head was catching.
I head downtown (about a 5 min drive), find a parking place finally, and walk up the street to my new home away from home. I'm pretty excited at this point because it's really the first time I've been in there without someone else coming along. Yeah, I know...freak. Anyway.... But, SURPRISE! They don't open til 5. Really? 5? What about your afternoon drinker? Discrimination I say. They were, however, nice enough to let me sit inside at the bar for 15 minutes so I didn't have to stand outside in the freezing wind. 5:00 = game on. $1.10 drafts = awesomeness. Cute Bartender = things are looking up. Music on the radio = horrid. Horrid. But, once we (the bartender, cook, and I) got to talking I didn't notice the music quite as much. But, still...dance-type music in an empty bar in the afternoon? Gag. I'm sure you all know my opinion of that genre of music anyway. 1 out of ever 4 songs that came on was decent though..must've been some popular hits station or something. I miss the variety of the 80s radio stations. I listened to an old Top 40 countdown the other week and the variety of music was shocking to my ears. It went in order through Huey Lewis, Duran Duran, Quiet Riot, something else I can't remember now...but there's no variety like that anymore. We're pigeonholed into this category or that. I'll have none of it, I tell you. Ok, ok. Ironically enough, (and I don't care if it's really ironic or not...I'm with you Alanis) the town also has a No Dancing Ordinance. Yeah, no kidding. Just like Footloose. And if I see Kevin Bacon coming, I'm punching him in the throat. There are bars where you can dance, but it has to have a separate area designated for that. Hey, I'm fine with that. I'm not a dancer, nor do I really want to see people dancing. Unless it involves glitter and dollar bills. Then that might be a different story. Where was I? Oh yeah. No Dancing. Enter a guy I will call Smiley. He's probably my age or even a little younger. Has nary a tooth in his head. Nary a one. Smiles. All. The. Time. He proceeded to tell me how the no dancing rule is true and that they will throw you out for it..especially if you're not a pretty girl. He said one time there was a girl dancing in the room upstairs where the pool tables are and no one said anything to her (duh) so he thought he would go on over and "dance" with her. I interpreted that as "I stumbled over and tried to rub all over her with my junk." And, they threw him out of the bar. I know, right? I'm guessing that this is not the first dancing incident my pal Smiley has been involved in. I would make a strong bet that that's why he doesn't have any teeth...he danced up to the wrong girl once and probably had them removed for him. I'm laughing like hell at this point because he's almost demonstrating his moves when the bartender tells him to cut it out. She looked at me and grinned...I think at this point she was ready for Smiley to go play pool and shut the hell up. But, it was definitely entertaining.
I used to live in crappy house/apt. in a crappy part of a crappy town. Tired of freezing to death and listening to Fiestas every Sunday afternoon, I broke my lease and moved. I bought a house in an altogether different town 30 miles away and am now ensconced in warmth and quiet. Two of my favourite things! Most of the time. One can only, however, sit at the kitchen table and watch the evening news while drinking wine so many nights in a row before one goes batshit crazy. The time table on this is usually about 3 days. I've been doing it for 2 months. Hey, it was exactly 2 months yesterday! Go me! Anyway, I've come to find that if you watch the local news while drinking said wine, you will become belligerent and want to kill the newscasters and weather people and stupid people they interview. Well, maybe not kill, but at least choke heartily. Or, you may want to kill yourself. Eh, either way, it takes its toll on you. I suppose all local news is a little hinky, but, jaysus, sometimes I feel dumber after watching it.
Anyway, finally I've gotten to the point where I almost have a budget and my new town is kinda cool, so I thought I would venture out to visit my new favourite bar. I know. I was shocked too. I stopped after work and got a haircut because I'm too lazy to keep up a schedule with that and desperately needed one and came home and took a shower (I can't stand the little hairs all over me) and contemplated my moves for the evening. That lasted about 5 mins til I bolted out the door like my ass was on fire and my head was catching.
I head downtown (about a 5 min drive), find a parking place finally, and walk up the street to my new home away from home. I'm pretty excited at this point because it's really the first time I've been in there without someone else coming along. Yeah, I know...freak. Anyway.... But, SURPRISE! They don't open til 5. Really? 5? What about your afternoon drinker? Discrimination I say. They were, however, nice enough to let me sit inside at the bar for 15 minutes so I didn't have to stand outside in the freezing wind. 5:00 = game on. $1.10 drafts = awesomeness. Cute Bartender = things are looking up. Music on the radio = horrid. Horrid. But, once we (the bartender, cook, and I) got to talking I didn't notice the music quite as much. But, still...dance-type music in an empty bar in the afternoon? Gag. I'm sure you all know my opinion of that genre of music anyway. 1 out of ever 4 songs that came on was decent though..must've been some popular hits station or something. I miss the variety of the 80s radio stations. I listened to an old Top 40 countdown the other week and the variety of music was shocking to my ears. It went in order through Huey Lewis, Duran Duran, Quiet Riot, something else I can't remember now...but there's no variety like that anymore. We're pigeonholed into this category or that. I'll have none of it, I tell you. Ok, ok. Ironically enough, (and I don't care if it's really ironic or not...I'm with you Alanis) the town also has a No Dancing Ordinance. Yeah, no kidding. Just like Footloose. And if I see Kevin Bacon coming, I'm punching him in the throat. There are bars where you can dance, but it has to have a separate area designated for that. Hey, I'm fine with that. I'm not a dancer, nor do I really want to see people dancing. Unless it involves glitter and dollar bills. Then that might be a different story. Where was I? Oh yeah. No Dancing. Enter a guy I will call Smiley. He's probably my age or even a little younger. Has nary a tooth in his head. Nary a one. Smiles. All. The. Time. He proceeded to tell me how the no dancing rule is true and that they will throw you out for it..especially if you're not a pretty girl. He said one time there was a girl dancing in the room upstairs where the pool tables are and no one said anything to her (duh) so he thought he would go on over and "dance" with her. I interpreted that as "I stumbled over and tried to rub all over her with my junk." And, they threw him out of the bar. I know, right? I'm guessing that this is not the first dancing incident my pal Smiley has been involved in. I would make a strong bet that that's why he doesn't have any teeth...he danced up to the wrong girl once and probably had them removed for him. I'm laughing like hell at this point because he's almost demonstrating his moves when the bartender tells him to cut it out. She looked at me and grinned...I think at this point she was ready for Smiley to go play pool and shut the hell up. But, it was definitely entertaining.
I sat there til a little after 7 and had the whole place to myself practically. It was awesome..like owning my own place but without the bills and the overhead and the worry of no one being in there. Of course, were it mine, the music would be better too. Here's a crappy picture of the inside looking back toward the street. My phone doesn't do well after dark. I tried to get a picture of Smiley too, but couldn't sneak one in. And, no, I'm not asking. I don't want to bond that much, thank you.
1 comment:
I see your point. Some people just shouldn't be bustin' a move.
sperima - WTF?
Post a Comment