Friday, January 4, 2008

Screw you Winter!!

Normally, I'm a fan of winter. I like cold days, warm houses, good food, big sweaters, and all that jazz. Not anymore. Winter can officially kiss my ass. It was 9 last night. In some parts of the country, I know, it's a lot colder than that and for a lot longer than one night. I also understand that I had no snow and ice to contend with on top of the freezing cold. However, that's not my point, and I don't care.

Wanna take a guess on how cold it was in my house when I got home at 3:30 yesterday afternoon? Go ahead. I'll wait while you ponder it.

42. Forty-two. 10 degrees above freezing. That is ridiculous. Absolutely and positively ridiculous. But, J, don't you have heat? What about your fireplace? What about living in a house that's not pushing 100 years old?

1. yes, I do have heat. I have a kerosene heater and an electric heater. The main heat for the house is oil/radiator heat. I refuse to turn the furnace on because I refuse to pay near $4 a gallon for fuel oil. On both principles of me being tight and tired of the government screwing me and everyone else AND the simple fact that I don't think I could afford to run the tank dry in a month or two and have to refill it to the tune of $700, I say nay, nay to the oil heat. Thanks, Government, you've really stuck on in us all this time. What good is it to have tanks on the oil fields if oil prices keep going up and up? Stupid bastards. I bet the oil moguls aren't freezing at night. Pfft.

2. The fireplace works pretty well, as long as it's only down to 30 or so outside. Most of the heat gets lost up the chimney if it's much colder than that. I'm going to push the landlord to see if they'll either put in a stove insert or at least split the cost with me on it. Plus, I'm running on low on wood (ha! whatever!) and am waiting for my supply to come.

3. I could move, yes. But, I really, really, really like this house. The thought of going back to something newer and all pre-fab like everything I've ever lived in really, really makes me sick to my stomach. I love my house with the old, cracked plaster and wood floors and big porch. It's the first place I've lived in that has character on its own without me piling money into it to make it look like something it's not. Instead, all of my stuff compliments it. That, and I hate moving. I just moved in August. I don't really want to do it again. Besides, winter's only like 3 months. And, it's supposed to be 70 here by Monday. What the hell? I mean, I don't care...Go, Global Warming!! I'm taking my aerosol can outside right now and emptying that bastard to speed the process up.

To top it off, my back seized up this morning in some sort of spasm that I can only think came from lying under a blanket in front of the heater on my couch for 4 hours or so and then going to bed under a pile of blankets and fearing to move from one position on punishment of frostbite. I would like to choke someone today out of sheer frustration.

All that whining being completed now, I would like to say that I'm stopping at the store tonight to pick up those wool fingerless gloves that people seem to like because it's really, really hard to drink beer when even the koozie is cold.......


Nina said...

Go ahead and hate the cold for a few months, but don't cave in and move to a new house. New houses have no character. I'll send you some mittens if you need them, but do not cave in to the pressure. It's only three months.

onthevirg said...

I know what you mean on the old house dude. Our place gives up either hot/cold air like Lohan gives up her poonanny.

Switch to the hard stuff, it's freeze resistant and you don't have to put ice in it!

Jeff said...

I'm with you on the winter bashing. It was zero degree where I live last week. What the hell is that all about?!

123Valerie said...

That is a great house.

I think you could solve your problems by switching to whiskey. It's worked for me, J.

Laughing through my chardonnay said...

123Valerie is right. Whiskey warms you from the inside out.