O Christmas Tree

I know you've all been waiting and haven't been able to fully enjoy your holiday season. Well, let me remedy that with a picture of The Ghetto Tree....and a random shot of my living room and fire.








Ain't it a beaut?

NOW, you can have a Happy New Year!

He looks like a pink nightmare.

Just a quick hop-on to say that I hope everyone had a great holiday. I survived and, surprisingly, there were no casualties or snarkiness required. Perhaps I'm telepathic.

That being said, I would like to have the rest of the week off to recover both from all the festivities and the 86 gazillion pounds of food my mother insisted I eat and then bring home as leftovers too. Oof.

If I don't make it back around, Happy New Year, friends!

I miss Cousin Eddie

Well, Christmas is upon us with all its obligatory gatherings, overeating sessions, drunken promises to visit, hugs for people you really would rather choke and everything else that goes along with seeing family that you only visit once a year.

I've been to two functions this week and they were both small and very informal, and VERY annoying. Clark W. Griswold may have had Cousin Eddie and a houseful of lunatics, but I'm pretty sure I've got him beat.

Holiday etiquette lesson #1: If someone has done some regrettable things or lost someone that they sorely miss, try not to bring it up repeatedly throughout the evening. Especially if it's been 3 or 4 years, and you don't talk to this relative anyway. Or, to put it more simply, don't be a pretentious, self-righteous prick. I'm looking right at you Uncle R.

Tonight or tomorrow morning, I'm off to my mom's for the long weekend. I'm actually kind of looking forward to it. Not so much for the whole Christmas-y visit thing, but rather for the fact that her house is warm. And it's not costing ME to keep it warm. You know how Ebeneezer wouldn't give Cratchit another lump of coal for his fire? Yeah, that's about how my house is. But, in all honesty, it's pretty laid back at mom's. I'll eat too much, probably drink too much at least Saturday during the "party", and watch a lot of bad television. I mean, really, isn't that what the holidays are all about? Monday night, I'll force her to watch "A Christmas Story" even though she hates it. I think she's really a communist or an alien or something. I mean, I can find no other explanation for it.

Then Tuesday, after getting up and out of mom's and driving an hour and a half, I have to go BACK to my Grandma's because my dad wants to go on Christmas Day this year. No big deal, right? Understand this, however. We haven't been to her house on Christmas Day with the rest of the family for over 20 years. I have no desire to go back. None. A visit the week before is fine with me. But, she's getting old and he wants to go and it'll be easier for him if I'm there to make fun of people with snarky comments from the corner. Again, I'm looking at you, Uncle R.
Let me elaborate on R. He's a whiny child in a man's body. He read some nugget on Yahoo (and if he read it, it's the gospel because he knows everything and you know nothing) the other day about how people really aren't as depressed during the holidays as everyone thinks because they have memories and family around them. At this point, I looked up from where I was sitting on the floor and looked around and said "Huh! I reckon that just depends on who your family is." And went back to petting the dog. I thought my dad would choke laughing. The only thing better would've been if I would've jumped up and said "ZING!"

fucker.

Anyway, that's Tuesday, so I'm not thinking about it anymore til then.....

Now, if I can just get through today and get out of here. I would love to see it snow........and listen to Bing Crosby....

I hope all of you have a great holiday...whichever one it is that you celebrate...or none at all. Just have a great weekend and safe travels!

My life is on fast forward

My internet radio is skipping today. How is that possible you ask? I don't know either. It's driving me CRAZY. The great thing about it is that it only skips the songs I like. It'll play about 30 seconds of them and then go on to something else. All. Morning. Long.

And, what else? I need to go to the store this evening and I forgot my list. Me in the store without a list is like going into a strip club with $500 in singles. Except not nearly as fun. Not anywhere near. In fact, if fun was here, then the store would be Antarctica or some place really really far away. I know you love the comparisons. It's ok to admit it.

Have a good weekend!

I can't fight this feeling any longer....

I'm feeling/being ambitious at work. Somebody stop me before I end up screwing up this easy gig.

Why is my arm numb?

I went out and drank a few (too many?) beers last night at the local and it was fun. So fun, in fact, that I forgot to order the awesome dinner for which I had originally been looking. Upon waking up (late) this morning, I was also hit by Cheap Draught Beer Dodgy Guts and an intense hunger. After rushing through the shower and out the door, I stopped at Hardee's for my usual sausage biscuit. But, I was tempted by the upsell from the lady on the other end of the microphone. Would you like to try our Country Breakfast Burrito today? And then I saw it...ham, bacon, sausage, eggs, hash browns, AND gravy all rolled conveniently into a nice utensil-free meal. I went for it.

I think I might be having a heart attack right now.

God, I'm a winner....

ho ho ....... hum

You'd think that someone that spends 90% of his time alone and not talking would have more to say, wouldn't you? I mean, it makes sense really that there would be this Grand Thought or Funny Joke or Something waiting to burst forth at the first opportunity. But, yeah, you'd probably be wrong. Actually, that's not the whole truth. There are those things, but I can't seem to bring them forth. There's no reason either I don't think. Sure, I could blame Christmas and the Holidays and all that, but that's not it. I'm kind of digging Christmas this year for some reason. Maybe it's the new place, or a new sense of self that is my gift to myself, or something like that, but I'm not really filled with the usual nagging dislike of all things Holiday. I mean, I wish it would snow and I would have some sort of magical revelation like Jimmy Stewart, but I know that's not gonna happen. I suppose I'll settle for sitting beside my mom's fire and smelling her cooking and falling asleep beside her tree. (and listen to the same annoying conversation over and over, but that's beside the point) I even have my very own little ghetto tree in my house. I need to get a picture of it so I can show you guys and you can laugh as hard as I do everytime I look at it. It's one of those little live Norfolk pines that they sell at the grocery store that already has the balls on it. Then I bought a strand of 50 lights to put on because every tree needs lights. Except there are about 5 or 10 on the tree and the rest on the table around it. It's quite charming really. My friend, who hasn't seen it yet, figured that I had one with beer cans hanging on it. Ha! Maybe next year if I get a bigger tree.....It'd have to be a big one....

Or perhaps it's the fact that it was 65 degrees yesterday. Just last week it was 14. I don't get it. But, yay for global warming for saving on my heating bill.

Or perhaps it's that maybe, just maybe, things are ok and are gonna be ok and that's all uncharted water for me...


Besides, silence is golden ....or some shit like that.

Keep the change....

Ah, the best part of winter...

Watch these clips and get your laughs for the day. It almost makes me excited to get old.

If music be the food of love...

or something like that.......

I've been tagged by Mortar, so here we go. My Internetz isn't working that well today, so I don't have time or really the capabilities of tagging and linking anyone else, but if any of the 5 people that read this drivel wants to play along, please do. And let me know!!

The Rules:1) Put your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle2) For each question, press the next button to get your answer.3) YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT(this is in capital letters, so it is very serious. No hiding your showtunes, folks!)After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!And away we go....


1) IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Moon Baby - Godsmack

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? American Bad Ass - Kid Rock (ha!!)

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Hating Hollywood - Theory of a Deadman

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Touch, Peel, and Stand - Days of the New

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Brother - Alice in Chains

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Polly - Nirvana

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Sympathetic - Seether

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Rain - Sevendust

9) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Less Polite - Will Kimbrough

10) WHAT IS 2+2? Songwriter - Ken Maffeo

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? June Bug - Alexis Harte

12) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? In the Park - Ned Massey

13) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Man of God - Neil Diamond

14) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? A Girl Named Hannah - Forest Wayne Allen (scary, that one)

15) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? True - Spandau Ballet

16) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Do Wot You Do - INXS

17) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Darkness - the Police (ha!)

18) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Blue Jean - David Bowie

19) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Life in One Day - Howard Jones

20) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Drive - the Cars

21) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Hold Me Now - The Thompson Twins

I didn't get a good shuffle because I use internet radio at work, but still kind of interesting I suppose.....